


i'll be someone you maybe might love

by darkrosemind



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jake is bi, Pining, Unrequited Love, before peraltiago, he's in love with amy, jake is jealous of teddy, mentions of other 99 members, short peraltiago fic, title is lorde lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 23:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16028516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrosemind/pseuds/darkrosemind
Summary: Jake is in love with Amy Santiago, and it's crushing him alive, because Amy will never ever love him back. She's already in love with Teddy, right? There's nothing that Jake can do except pine after her and think about her.





	i'll be someone you maybe might love

Jake is watching Amy from afar. She is sitting next to Teddy; laughing as he says something. Jake feels an ounce of jealousy bounce up in him, and he shakes it away, confused.

 

_Why is he jealous?_

 

He remembers the same emotion spiraling up in himon the same day he saw Jenny Gildenhorn dancing with Eddie Fung on the day of his bar mitzvah. And here it is again, the emotion of jealousy present in him again.

 

To be honest, when Jake saw Jenny dancing with Eddie when he was thirteen, he wasn’t sure whether he was jealous of Eddie or Jenny, because both of them were hot, and he wouldn’t mind dancing with Eddie either.

 

But Jake is slumped alone in a corner of the bar, and he knows that he is _definitely_ jealous of Teddy Wells. _Jake_ wants to be there, sitting in Teddy’s place and making Amy laugh. And suddenly, with a spark of fear, Jake realizes that _he_ wants to be the one taking Amy to dinner; kissing Amy goodnight.

 

How the hell does he, Jake Peralta _like_ Amy Santiago?

 

Jake feels cold. The bar is warm and heated, but all Jake can feel through his flannel and his hoodie and his leather jacket is cold. Chills overtake him, and Jake watches Teddy Wells with spite lurching up in him.

 

He shakes it away. Maybe it _is_ his fault then, that Amy is going out with Teddy and not him. He should have asked her out first. Maybe she would’ve said yes.

 

But he was _scared_ of asking her out. Because then she’d say no, and then their relationship as _friends_ would be ruined forever. Why would Amy Santiago, a goddess of a woman, ever want to go out with lowly Jake Peralta?

 

He finds himself thinking of reasons that Amy might go out with him.

 

Jake Peralta is funny, and he himself knows that. Jake can make people laugh, and he does whenever he can. He loves making people laugh. Humor is his coping mechanism. He loves hearing people laugh, because everyone has a different laugh, just like everyone has different handwriting.

 

Jake especially loves making _Amy_ laugh. Her laugh is magical. He feels as if he can float up to the clouds when he hears her laugh. She’s beautiful.

 

But she’s sitting with Teddy.

 

Jake is bitter when it comes to Teddy. Amy should have never flirted with Jake on that rooftop. Jake should have never won that stupid bet. He’s rather have her win and give her _his car_ , the one he loves so much, his lucky car. He would rather have no car and no feeling than a car and feeling that would never be returned by Amy Santiago.

 

Jake wants to cry. He’s pining after _Amy Santiago,_ of all people, someone who will never love him back in the way that he loves her.

 

They can only be friends. There is no way that Amy would be able to tolerate Jake’s crap if they were in a real, honest-to-god relationship. Amy would break up with him and things would be _awkward_ between them forever.

 

And now he’s thinking back to the day when he and Amy first me, when they shook hands and Amy had those bangs and Jake had crazy hair, and when Charles creeped both of them out when he made his remark about ‘wedding bells.’ Jake would never admit that he remembers that moment, but he does. It’s engraved in his memory. Because he might actually love Amy Santiago, but there is no chance that wedding bells will be ringing for him and Amy in the future.

 

“Amy Santiago,” he whispers quietly to himself. “Jake Santiago.”

 

He feels like he’s back in the ninth grade, pining after some girl on the cheerleading squad who is already dating someone from the football team. And he suddenly remembers when he joined the football team just to land with a cute girl (or a cute boy) and had a concussion with three broken ribs.

 

But Teddy Wells is cop. Same as him. So what’s the competition? They’re both at the same point, even though Jake is more attractive, more funny, and isn’t the boringest man in the world.

 

So if this were a competition, then Jake would definitely win. So why does Amy like Teddy better than Jake? Why someone boring over someone fun and cool?

 

Maybe it’s Teddy’s looks. Jake has to admit, Teddy’s not _bad_ -looking. He could be a little _okay-_ looking, if Jake didn’t despise him so much. (But it’s like Rosa said― “You can hate someone and still think they’re hot.”)

 

Jake can feel himself dying inside. He’d give anything to hold Amy Santiago’s hand, or sit in Teddy Wells’s place and have Amy smile at him the way that she is smiling at Teddy.

 

But life sucks. Amy Santiago will never love him, and Jake Peralta will die alone, because Amy doesn’t want him, and there’s no one else that Jake will ever want.

 

No one could compare to Amy Santiago. She’s _ethereal._ Jake’s totally in love with her, but he will _never, ever_ say so. He’s too afraid of rejection. He’s too afraid that she’s going to turn her nose up, laugh, and walk away. He doesn’t want his heart to be broken, even though, in a way it already has been.

 

The minute that Amy had said that she was meeting up with Teddy later, Jake had been trying to ask her for a date. He gave up as soon as he heard about Teddy, and made some excuse about work. But that was the moment that Amy had broken his heart, even though neither of them knew it.

 

But Jake could feel it. The pain of rejection. Unrequited. Even though she didn’t know what he was about to ask her; even though she never said _no,_ she was still going out with Teddy. That was rejection enough for Jake.

 

So maybe Jake’s going to change himself. He wants to be someone that Amy Santiago can fall in love with, even though it’s going to kill him to act boring, to not crack any jokes, to keep his desk clean and maybe he’ll read that magazine about office supplies that Amy likes so much.

 

But he can’t. He can’t change his nature, because just is who he is. And he loves Amy Santiago, even though she’ll never feel the same way.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are apprieciated!!!  
> tumblr: @darkrosemind


End file.
